Somewhat Odd Tales from the National Parks

Over the years, Tara and I have had some experiences in our National Parks that have been funny, odd, silly, maybe a little scary, and some downright embarrassing. Today's blog post will feature some of these stories. Perhaps you had to have "been there" to truly appreciate them, but in light of Halloween, it seems appropriate to have a somewhat odd blog post. 😊

1. A Prelude

We were waiting for our cave tour to start at the Mammoth Cave Visitor Center. Tara went to go use the restroom. The bathroom was empty except for one other lady in the stalls. After a while, Tara starts to hear a faint humming from the lady in the next stall over, the tune is familiar. Then she starts singing, it's the hymn: "I Need thee Every Hour." Tara left the restroom and the gal was still singing, somewhere in the third verse. She didn't find out who it was, so the rest of the time we were in the Visitor Center we tried to figure out if it was one of the Mennonites or someone from one of the Baptist Church Tour groups. An interesting song choice, but sometimes the bathroom is the perfect place for a plea to heaven.

2. Kids!

We love to people-watch on our travels. And overhearing kid's conversations are the best. At Arches, we met one kid who was an expert biologist. In the parking lot at the Windows Area, there is a little lizard darting here and there among the rocks. Kids love wildlife and sure enough a little 5 year old boy with a lisp was going crazy seeing this thing. He was yelling excitedly: Look an "amnal"! (trying to say animal) An "amnal"! His precocious big sister replied "Wow. It's a lizard!" The kid responds: No. It's "amnal."

As we were hiking the boardwalk trail in Congaree National Park, we came across a little girl who was sitting high up on her mother's shoulders. The kid was just bawling. Through her sobs she whined "I can't see anything!" Rather cheerfully the Mom says "Look around honey. It's so pretty." The girl responds, with big tears: "I can't see anything. There's too many trees! They're in the way." Mom replies: "Well, that's kind of the point honey." This little kid is literally missing the forest for the trees. 😊

3. That One Tour Guide

Our tour guide at Cliff Palace at Mesa Verde National Park was quite the character. Kind of like an old, grumpy elementary school teacher. At the trailhead, I think she was a bit flustered because our group was so large. She told us that as soon as we got to the bottom of the trail to sit and wait for the group to all reach the bottom. As we went down into the canyon, Tara and I were on the front end of the group. There were some steps along the trail. The guide told us that the CCC made the trail back in the 30s. She kept joking (I think she was joking) that the CCC got "lazy" as they got further down the trail, because the steps down kept getting larger and larger. It never got a reaction from the group, but she said it over and over again. Probably 5 times. 😊 

Once we got to the bottom, Tara and I had gotten separated a bit along the trail. Tara was ahead of me and sitting down along the rock wall. She was in the shade. I decided to go sit by her. The tour guide, as she stated up on the rim, directed us to sit down. A second later, as I'm going to sit by Tara, she barked "SIR, SIT DOWN!" Oops. 

The tour of the Palace itself was pretty normal. However, someone asked about why the ancestral Pueblans abandoned the area so abruptly. She started to talk about the schools of thought and how the head of archaeology for the Park didn't agree with her theory. She then said "Our director of archaeology doesn't even like archaeology. If he did, he would know I'm right." 

And for good measure she mentioned again that the CCC were lazy when they built the trail on our way back to the rim. 😊

4. Bad Behavior at the Bat Cave

At Carlsbad Caverns National Park, you can watch the bats flying from the cave each night at the Natural Entrance. We visited in March, so the nightly bat program hadn't started yet for the year. However, the rangers told us that they had seen bats the night before, so there was a good chance that a colony was in the cave and we could probably see them that night. Tara and I went to the amphitheater that evening. There was quite a group of tourists gathered there to get a glimpse of the bats. But no rangers to answer questions, so no one was sure when the bats would leave the cave, and we weren't sure if we were seeing a bird or a bat. There was a family sitting on the front bench, they had 2 or 3 kids and they were running around, jumping from bench to bench, etc. causing a ruckus. Other people were talking and milling about, just waiting for the sun to set. Nothing happened for about half an hour. Finally, the rowdy family got up and started to leave. Out of nowhere the Dad turns around and faces the assembled crowd and proclaims "The bats aren't coming. You guys are being too loud. The bats aren't coming!" Then they left. I couldn't tell if he was joking or seriously mad at us for being too loud. I'm like, first of all, who put you in charge? And second of all, if anyone was being too loud it was your stupid, rambunctious kids. Anyways, it was so weird and out of blue, it was really funny. P.S. About 3 minutes after this family left, lo and behold, the big colony of bats exited the cave and noiselessly flew into the night sky. It was a cool sight to behold and they missed it. Hah!

5. Close Call at Emerald Pools

We hiked all the way up to the Upper Emerald Pool in Zion. It was early in the morning. There was only one other group (of 4) at the top of the trail when we got there. It was a group of 4 young college kids, 2 girls who were sisters, and 2 boys. After taking some pictures, I saw the younger sister and one of the boys start to climb on the boulders (very much like the ones you see in the picture above) They quickly got so high on the boulders that they were out of sight. The other two stayed down with us by the pools. 

All of the sudden we hear this LOUD crack. If you've been to the Upper Emerald Pools, you'll know that it is surrounded by very high cliff walls. The crack was followed by more loud bangs, that reverberated off the canyon walls, getting louder and louder. I knew that something had happened to the two hikers up on the boulders. The girl started to run to the boulders, screaming her sister's name. Then I saw something out of the corner of my eye, tumbling end over end down the hill. At first glance, it looked like a person. Oh my, I thought, one of those kids is going to be dead, or very badly injured. But then, I realized it was a big rock, falling down all those boulders, going at a great speed, and starting a rockfall. I yelled at the girl who was running towards the boulders to stand back because that rock was FLYING down the mountain. It was super scary. Suddenly, the rock hit the bottom, followed by a spooky silence. We cried out "are you all right?" We hear a response "Yeah, we're fine." Whew. Apparently, the girl was climbing the rocks and a big chunk of the boulder crumbled and fell, hitting the boy behind her and then tumbled down the mountain. They hadn't fallen too far, but they both had some pretty bad scrapes and were banged up a little bit, but they were ok. Tara offered to help out, and being a nurse, she always packs an emergency kit with bandages, etc. So its a good thing we were there because they had nothing. Thankfully no one was hurt, but it was definitely a scary moment.

6. Close Call on the Thunder Knob Trail

A different kind of "close call" on the Thunder Knob Trail at North Cascades National Park. We underestimated the length of the trail. I forgot to consult my guide before we left, I remembered it was an easy trail and it was about a mile and half round trip. It was actually 1.8 miles one-way, so almost four miles round trip. I wasn't really prepared. Once we got to the top and enjoyed the views, we turned around and started to head back down the mountain. As soon as we started going down, I knew I was going to be in trouble. I felt that urge, the one described by George Costanza in Seinfeld. An "impending...intestinal requirement, whose needs are going to surpass by great lengths anything in the [enjoying nature] realm." 

I had a long way to go before the bathroom at the trailhead. Another problem, this "unstoppable force" was not going to be relieved in some bushes and trees off the trail. This HAD to be in a bathroom. How was I going to do this? *Maybe I should have started singing "I Need Thee Every Hour." 😊 Anyway, I think there was some divine intervention involved because I was able to hold it for that entire 1.8 miles all the way down the mountain. I made it...just...barely. That was about the closest I ever came to...that...embarrassing disaster in my entire life.

7. Close Call on Alum Bluffs Trail

this beautiful scenery was the site of another near disaster

Tara is not exempt from these kinds of embarrassing situations either. As we were hiking back to our car on the Alum Bluff Trail in Great Smoky Mountains, Tara had a close call of her own. We felt like we near the end of the trail, but we had a much farther way to go then we had anticipated. Tara needed to go #1 and started to walk way ahead of me on the trail so she could reach the restroom. But she kept going and going, the trail never ended! Finally, she made an executive decision. She wasn't going to make it to the bathroom, so she needed to find a good spot just off the trail. She found a spot along the river with a big rock she could lean up against and it was in a somewhat secluded spot behind the bushes just off the trail. She goes back to the trail to make sure no one is coming. She then starts to prepare herself, takes off her backpack and walks to her chosen spot, and all of the sudden a couple comes around the bend on the trail and she hears them say "Ooh, what's over there?" They follow Tara to this secluded bend and say "Oh this is so pretty. Would you like us to take your picture?" Tara politely declines, while she's doing the potty dance, and they eventually leave and Tara's able to take care of business. I'm kind of sad I missed out on seeing this for myself. 😊  

8. Hike from "hail"

Logan Pass at Glacier National Park is known for having wild, unpredictable weather swings during the summer. That happened to us along the 1.5 mile long Hidden Lake Overlook Trail. When we started at the Visitor Center, it was perfectly sunny day. Out of nowhere, some vicious looking clouds rolled in. It started to rain a bit. I would say we had already gone about a half a mile and we weren't bothered too much by the rain, so we decided to keep going. There wasn't a tree in sight anyway to take cover or anything. Eventually, the rain turned to hail and the wind was carrying it sideways and it was pretty rough. We had to turn around at that point. It was brutal. Of course, as soon as we got back to the Visitor Center, the storm had ended and the clouds lifted, and it was a nice beautiful sunny day again.

9. Levels of excitement

The Domes and Dripstones Tour at Mammoth Cave started with an adventurous descent down hundreds of stairs in the spooky cave. The middle-aged couple behind me the entire way down was super annoying. The lady was just so overwhelmed by the cave. Look, I'm all for being excited and appreciating nature, but she was dialing it too 11, like, the entire time! Not EVERYTHING can be that jaw-dropping beautiful. The whole time down she was like "Oh wow! This is so beautiful! This is so crazy. Oh, I can't believe how beautiful this is. Oh my! Oh wow!" I'm not exaggerating, she was like this the ENTIRE time. Even on the bus ride back to the Visitor Center she was impressed by little factoids. Our tour guide told us that a certain spot over there was where the first hotel for tourists of the cave stood, but it was torn down in the 1920s." Her response? "Oh WOW!" Good grief lady, enough with the cave-gasm.

10. My poor stomach

You can see it in my eyes...

Our ferry ride over to Santa Cruz Island at Channel Islands National Park was very enjoyable, but man those waves got to me. It was a very windy day and it produced some swells as we were getting out of the harbor that were quite big. Ooh boy, I'm just not built for sea travel. 😊 I was enjoying all the wildlife and chatting with all the other tourists, but the boat kept going and going and the waves kept coming and coming. I did not feel well at all. I got feeling so bad that when we spotted a humpback whale, I didn't even bother getting up to the rail to take a look. I was just concentrating on my breathing, saying to myself "don't lose it...don't lose it." I did lose my lunch (breakfast) a little bit, and had to hold it in my mouth a couple of seconds so I could spit it into a garbage can, I didn't want to just spit it out on the deck. It was not pretty. It was much better on the ride back. I sat at the very back by the engine, the captain said that was the best spot to sit to avoid getting seasick. He was right.

So, not all experiences in our nation's parks are spectacular and amazing, but they are certainly memorable. 😊